Trauma / Mental Block
Mar. 13th, 2025 03:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cyphercryptThere's two major sources of Trauma I have. One is a family friend called "Ahmed" who I do not trust at all any more. If you want to see how ridiculous he is, I suggest you rewind a few journal entries. I might add more to that one just to articulate all of the problems I have with him and get the entire trauma dump out of my system.
Another source of trauma is from my most recent employer, how I wasted nearly a year of my life, and only accumulated debt in the process. One reason why I left America is because of all the "distinct" issues you could find in the American work place.
My last employer was a data-center-deployment company. They needed a guy who could speak Mandarin, so they hired me in May 2024. I flew back to America to pursue employment with them. I chose to be separated from my wife to do this work. August roles along, and I look at my supervisor and say, "Hey, next week is the end of my probation period." He responded saying, "Don't you worry, you passed with flying colors." About 3 weeks after that, I broke a bone in my ankle. Couldn't work for 12 weeks.
During this time I got two certifications. One of these certifications is something our company CEO explicitly stated the company could pay for. I am appalled that he contacted me to ask how my leg was doing a few days after I was injured, but didn't ask me why I was travelling to another country to see my wife who - at the time - I had not seen in seven months' time, and the main reason why I went to visit her was because she was denied a tourist visa to America.
Shortlist of my grievances:
1. Told me they could take care of a certification. They did not.
2. Two-faced CEO. Fake attitude. Fake concern.
3. Middle management will get angry for you making a mistake, but they don't have proper documentation on how to avoid these mistakes and you will have to make the documentation yourself.
4. At one point, my supervisor nearly called another coworker's wife a bitch, but he stopped himself at the "bit" part.
5. The circumstances of my termination.
At the end of my vacation, I messaged HR and said, "Hey I'll be back home in 48 hours. I would love to work through jetlag." HR said, "We'll talk about your future with our company in 4 days." 4 days later, I asked HR, "Is there any new information available?" They said, "We'll reach out to you at a later time." 19 days later I was told to go to the office at an odd hour and, unsurprisingly, I was fired.
The real mental block that I have to deal with now is that it is so damn difficult for me to focus on studying knowing that I am unemployed. It's a little more frightening knowing that I can be fired by any American employer at any given time.
What is this world coming to?
Another source of trauma is from my most recent employer, how I wasted nearly a year of my life, and only accumulated debt in the process. One reason why I left America is because of all the "distinct" issues you could find in the American work place.
My last employer was a data-center-deployment company. They needed a guy who could speak Mandarin, so they hired me in May 2024. I flew back to America to pursue employment with them. I chose to be separated from my wife to do this work. August roles along, and I look at my supervisor and say, "Hey, next week is the end of my probation period." He responded saying, "Don't you worry, you passed with flying colors." About 3 weeks after that, I broke a bone in my ankle. Couldn't work for 12 weeks.
During this time I got two certifications. One of these certifications is something our company CEO explicitly stated the company could pay for. I am appalled that he contacted me to ask how my leg was doing a few days after I was injured, but didn't ask me why I was travelling to another country to see my wife who - at the time - I had not seen in seven months' time, and the main reason why I went to visit her was because she was denied a tourist visa to America.
Shortlist of my grievances:
1. Told me they could take care of a certification. They did not.
2. Two-faced CEO. Fake attitude. Fake concern.
3. Middle management will get angry for you making a mistake, but they don't have proper documentation on how to avoid these mistakes and you will have to make the documentation yourself.
4. At one point, my supervisor nearly called another coworker's wife a bitch, but he stopped himself at the "bit" part.
5. The circumstances of my termination.
At the end of my vacation, I messaged HR and said, "Hey I'll be back home in 48 hours. I would love to work through jetlag." HR said, "We'll talk about your future with our company in 4 days." 4 days later, I asked HR, "Is there any new information available?" They said, "We'll reach out to you at a later time." 19 days later I was told to go to the office at an odd hour and, unsurprisingly, I was fired.
The real mental block that I have to deal with now is that it is so damn difficult for me to focus on studying knowing that I am unemployed. It's a little more frightening knowing that I can be fired by any American employer at any given time.
What is this world coming to?
